ketchup and coca-cola

i am sitting here and it's very quiet. Suddenly I hear a low, mumbling noise. It's the sound of my toe nails growing. I reach for the bottle of ketchup, I know that's gonna help. But there is a problem, this ketchup is made from synthetic tomatoes. The plastic ones that gather dust on displays of restaurants, along with tiny black dots that are actually droppings from flies. The same flies that you can see on the corner of the deli display, dead. So this ketchup won't help me. I bought it by mistake thinking it was organic. I hear another noise, this time a bit different. It's a long, hissing noise. Now it's my hair growing one whole inch. It must be the coca-cola. coca-cola is a registered mark. But so should I. People all over the world have coca-colas. very few people can have me. So in a way, I am more of a registered mark that they are. I hear the noise again, this time it was a sudden, blunt noise. I look down and realize it was a tiny drop of sweat coming from deep in the back of my right knee. The reverse knee or the eenk. That's how I'm going to call that part of my body now, the eenk. It's my body, it's been had by a lot of people, but it still manages to remain mine. It's funny that I hear all these noises because they are not happening. But i do like the taste of snot. Many people won't admit to it, but for me snot brings the comforting memories of a good cry when I was a kid. I'm gonna try it with a bit of ketchup, and wash it down with coca-cola. Hopefully the noises will end.